So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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