A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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