Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize