You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
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