Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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