i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Your penis caused this!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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