i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
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But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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