oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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