That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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