Princesses don't give blow jobs
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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