they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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