The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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