You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
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Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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