One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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