I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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