we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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