Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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