You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize