try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
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while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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