I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
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there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
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Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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