You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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