Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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