Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize