I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize