No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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