another moral hangover. fuck.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
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Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
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Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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