some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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