Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
bring money and cleavage
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize