It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
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Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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