I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
They took my balls.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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