i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
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He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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