Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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