Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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