great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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