You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
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We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
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Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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