what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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