you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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