no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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