So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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