just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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