I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize