We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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