Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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