508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Randomize