therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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