found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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