Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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