sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
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The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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