Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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