Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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